It's harder to say you want to forget.
Where am I supposed to stop? Or better yet, when should I?
Randomly a friend messaged me.
I really... respected him.
He didn't have to tell me anything, but what he told me just really surprised me.
And I respected him as a guy, but the girl is being foolish.
But she's scared too.
At least it seems like that.
But he's trying really hard. And she's blind for it.
So for both of us,
when does that happen? The point of release.
The point of knowing,
everything seems pointless.
Another guy.
Last night.
Hardly know him, only met him once, and he started saying weird, uncomfortable terms with me.
"Hey gorgeous", "you're cute but strange lol" ???? wtf.
Makes me wonder if someone is trying to slap me in the face.
It is nice to be called cute once in a while though, whether it's just for my actions or appearance....
I gave myself into it.
I said what I wanted to say.
I said what I had to say.
But like me and the first guy,
how do you just stop something you've put everything in to?
Then I thought about others who are similar like me.
hope.
It drives a person.
It comes in foolish colors.
It makes them not think straight.
It's what feeds me now.
I absorb it just as much as a plant absorbs sunlight to survive.
Does it make sense when I say,
I'm afraid to give up
but I'm not afraid to lose?
because I think it's the best way to put it.
Giving up, it's just as worse.
If I really do give up, all I'll keeping wondering is what could have happened if I didn't.
I'll live off of that "IF" scenario. I hate wondering 'what if'.
why can't I try hard? why can't I do my best and do what I can?
don't freaking... criticize me.
it's just something, I feel like I have to do.
I want to be a little selfish here.
I want to be selfish right now.
I think I'm just full of a lot of different ideas right now.
Had to say it to someone somehow. I apologize, it's just,
I'm not very good talking to people about emotions.
no wrong intended.
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