Why Can't I.....逮

I thought it would be really cool if I bought a mood ring for my pinky, wear it around and kinda be impressed how it changed its color to try and figure out what kind of mood I'm in.

Right now, it says I'm relaxed :)



I went to the aquarium today, and then yesterday I got home late returning from an outdoor play. I was so exhausted yesterday I went right to sleep, and for once I slept in this morning. Well, 8AM isn't really sleeping in but, it's two hours later than normal that's for sure.

I had a lot of fun at the aquarium today, like A LOT of fun.
I felt like a kid again. I saw they had a certain fish and I ran over to it, calling my dad and sis over as well. It was a small aquarium, really nothing big, but I didn't need anything big to make me happy. I told my dad I was glad to go afterwards and he said it too "simple things please simple minds". Pretty much he was calling me stupid, not seriously though. But he's right. I say it myself and a lot of my friends say it too. The littlest things make me happy, make me smile.

I have a simple mind.
I know I'm not very smart.
I know I'm not really observant.
Heck, I'm not even accomplishing that much in my life. And I'm discovering too many things too late.

But I never want to call myself stupid.

I might be easily fooled, but other times I fake it. I'll acted stupid just to... just because it helps me smile. If I act like a kid, I feel a lot better about things. Not that I'm depressed all the time, it just helps me lighten up situations and relax. But depending on the situation, if someone calls me dumb or well, "stupid", it really hurts. Not all the time, of course not, but there's just many times people will say something and all I can do is smile and be like "yeah, sorry I really am stupid."

I guess it's just hard to understand why I do things or act the way I do sometimes. I mean, I don't even fully understand it myself even.

But I'm trying to.

But some things won't change.
Like me acting like a kid. I feel like, if anything that has to be my best quality. It's just so carefree and laughing all the time. When you feel like a kid, especially around people, it gives you a new feeling of comfort. At least that's what I think. I never act like a kid around my family and stuff. But around my friends I'm always screaming and acting "stupid" because I feel so comfortable.

Pieces. 碎.

Pretty much in every single person there's scars that you just want to fix. Pieces of yourself you want to repair, you want someone to help you fix them but are to ashamed to ask. If not ashamed, you just don't know how to ask, or well, you know if you don't know how to repair it yourself there isn't a way someone could help you either.


You keep things quiet,
and then you realize too late, things have gone too far.
And by then, you're regretful.

hmm.....


same here, isn't it?


Help should have been asked for sooner.


You know, I don't even know what I'm saying anymore. These words kinda just came off my head, but I was trying to make it have sense.

One thing doesn't change though.
Was there ever a time you realize you made a huge mistake and you wanted to fix it so badly you'd do anything? Or did you lose something because of something you never meant to do and wish you could have it back?

If you had that chance to regain what you could of had one more time, would you take it?


I can't defy what I've done.
And I've scared the one person I truly care about unintentionally.
It's been a year. I look desperate.

I scared him, and.....
-sigh- I want to make a wish.


I want to prove I'm normal.
I lost something really good to me. Something I really needed.
I wish......



Well, I'm sorry for everything I accidentally have done.
I'll never do it again. I just need him to believe in me.


I'm going to build a card castle now.
I guess maybe no one knew but, it is a hobby of mine. I just always forget I love to do it so much.