In the play I was supposed to be the wife of someone and I was supposed to technically 'cheat' on him. So I had to try to seduce the guy who wasn't my husband and say all these dirty jokes and whatnot. haha It was embarrassing as I thought of having to act a certain way but it came out so naturally and I ended up adding a few more extra sexual actions to it. It was so awesome, I even had a whip hahahahaa
My final scene: I actually jumped out the window. No joke. And I felt like a hero or something hahaha
I miss acting actually. I used to do it in junior high but I had serious stage fright and I wasn't good enough for the big scenes. So that's why when it came to high school, I stuck backstage and worked on spotlights. Maybe I can get involved again in something in HK?
What made me more happy was a text message I got from a friend in the same class. She told me that this is the first time she hasn't heard me mono-toned and actually have a lot of emotion in my voice. I didn't think my voiced changed that much.... did I really get into the play that much? Because I know my voice changes during points of my life. :D
Then I went to Alumni as I do every Tuesday night to do my laundry, right? I walk up the stairs and look down the other end of the hallway..... and there it was, a naked man. Okay, he was shirtless and going towards the bathroom. But...... it was Richard. And I was so embarrassed I looked away hoping he didn't realize that I noticed him AGAIN. But that was clearly impossible. He knows I saw, and again I couldn't pick up any courage to say anything to him. Not even a hello... when I'm pretty sure he smiled. It just brought back dumb moments from the past again. Like the first time when he tried to be sexy taking his shirt off in front of me, and I turned away pretending not to look. I really knew nothing....
I feel like, if I got caught with the wrong people freshman year, I could have been seriously taken advantage of. He flustered me, seduced me, but I still..... knew nothing of satisfaction. Pretty much, he's beautiful. Still. Even seeing his torso again, or just being able to see one so wide like his in such a long time, or maybe....
He just throws me off guard.
He is, the person I desire to talk to. But I don't know how to start a conversation. And then there's the fact that I'm not supposed to be there interrupting his life. Not that I would be interrupting or anything.... he hasn't once forgotten me though if he still recognizes me. I think I can try to cope with that again. But he makes it harder every time I see him. Because I want to say more than just a hello. But I have none of the right words.
Men.... arggggggh.
Lets be honest though.
I feel really immature about it. Just everything. I feel so far out of the game already. I feel wronged. And lacking. I'm wondering what I've learned.
But I got somewhat of an acceptance email today about HKBU. I forgot to sign something on my visa so I had to resend it. But she said she's happy to see me join the group so I'm excited about that too. I'm pretty confident in this. I'm getting more and more excited, and I sent out an email to the other three people going with me, but they are only a semester long. I'm actually kinda glad I'll be there long than them, and then when the spring Albany students come.... heh, I know more than them. Feeling a little more superiority here.
It's finals week and my 8hr shifts on campus begin. Hopefully the frozen yogurt&bubble tea place will open soon, and then my working like crazy weeks begin. So excited for this too~
Tulip Fest this weekend, my day and sister are coming and taking half of my stuff in my room so, Friday will be the last day I have all of my belongings. So sad ;_;
Then vacation in North Carolina again for a few days, one final month in PA,
THEN
THEN
THEN
THENNNN
must I say more? :)
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