This is the end of a three year's dream, but there are 1000 more words to learn to say 'I love you' with this next venture

Looking forward to something for three years, and then to have to say goodbye to it really... sucks.

Ever since I came back from Japan in August 2009, my dream was to go back and exchange for a year in Tokyo. I got so excited, I went to see the Japan advisory within the first 2 months of starting classes to get information. I was so excited...

And to see my dream fall like that...
it's really hard to swallow.



But, things happened.
And it somewhat began as words of revenge, but then as I looked up more information about it, I began to get... excited. I had to think of my future first. I'm not as lucky like many people who were born knowing two languages. I was stuck with one. One language to speak the rest of my life. Clearly my parents didn't see this coming at all; me learning more. And it upsets me to think about how my life as a kid was wasted unproductive.

While there's children worldwide taking English seriously both in school and by pressure of their families or surroundings, I'm stuck knowing none but one.



And that's when the future plays a roll.


I want to have fun.
I want to see my friends again.
I want to do what I WANT, and not have to be thinking about all this useless future stuff.

But if that was the case, I should have just studied abroad this past year or the next year, instead of being an idiot and waiting until senior year. And I had to think about myself for once. Think about what I said I wanted. I want Japan, but there's one thing I want even more.

The ability to speak languages. To be able to communicate, and be understood.


That being said, I had to make a serious decision.
Based on this, and considering what position I'll be in starting this August, it became clear that Japan could no longer be an option. What am I going to do? What am I going to accomplish by going to Japan? Learning Japanese? That thought alone is foolish. There are many people who learn Japanese fluently just by using the tools around them. I'm more than confident about my Japanese and to prove it I'm going to pass the JLPT level 2. This December.

This August, I'm going to be living with a Japanese friend and even now we meet sometimes. Only Japanese is spoken. I'm gradually improving more and more and I know living with him will be amazingly beneficial for me. I'm so grateful to have this opportunity.

And then I'm officially giving up on Korean and auditing Chinese next semester. Chinese is best for me to learn considering how much I love characters/kanji so much. And it's a very needed language right now for many jobs. But I wanted to learn something else... and because of being very busy this year, I couldn't keep up with it. But now I can learn both, and not only that, I can continue my Japanese studies while there. It's much cheaper too, considering me and my family don't have that much money. The campus looks beautiful and they have a much bigger course selection for me.

So...


It's been decided.
And I can't wait.