Running through speeding cars is just like risking everything holding yourself together, and then you're gone.

I jogged my first mile ever today.

I decided a few weeks back that I wanted to start running this summer and today I finally made my move. I want to be more in shape, and look my best, so I decided that this summer I'm going to give it my all.

This is our last week of classes. And then we have exams. My entire week is really full just trying to do last minute things and preparing for finals while finishing the last presentations for classes... and then we have the Japan Night after party at our apartment? It's not good timing. And I'm not participating in going to Japan Night or the after party. I'm going to stay on the first floor most of the night. I still plan on popping my face in every so often but, I'm just not in the mood for a party anymore. I'm sick of them. And yeah. After everything this week, I'm just going under too much emotional stress over a variety of things and drinking is not going to help me. It's a poor excuse to try to get rid of your problems drinking. Instead I'm going to hang in here, and do something about those problems.

This summer is going to be so different.
No one has no idea yet, but I'm just... I'm just tired of trying sometimes. After all, I told myself if this doesn't work, then I'll never put myself in this position again. Maybe I'll put more details into that some other time.

But I'm really going for the win this summer.

I'm so confident already that I can do this. And I can see myself now already.
I'll be amazing by the time junior year arrives.



I'm curling my hair this Saturday. Even though I don't plan on staying there, only coming up for free food lol, but I still want to look really nice in front of everyone. Maybe turn a head or two. Which in speaking, I'm going clothes shopping this Friday. For summer clothes. I need shoes too. I figured I'd go to H&M or somewhere, buy some skirts/shorts (yes, I'm going to buy a skirt. My first in a LONG time), and some really nice tops. Then I want to get really nice sandals. Not like flip-flops, like legit wrap-around-the-ankle, heel sandals. That's what I want.

I plan on doing an entire makeover of myself.



Maybe my personality sucks... but I'm happy I'll look a lot better...
I suppose...



I still don't feel better about yesterday...
but...
is it really going to change my decisions if everything ended here and now?
Probably not.
Because...

I'm stubborn.
Stubborn enough, to keep hope.

And that ends this blog.