I kinda really want to talk about that. It's really important for me since I've constantly posted again and again about my love life. Just because I wanted anyone to listen and hear me without saying it in person. But after all my complaining, nothing changed in the end. I mean, we aren't dating. I've learned to accept that I think, but I still wish we could of had one more shot. At least try to start over, you know?
I was hurt but, I can't do much about it. You can't force someone. Things happen, and well, in the end he couldn't do it. He couldn't think of me the same way like he used to. It sucks, it really does. But, we're still good friends I hope. As long as I can keep that I'll be fine. I'm happy that I really was able to change for him though. I really did become a better person.
Besides spending time with him and spending wayyyy too much money and stuff, I've just been working once a week at Sushi Tei and just work really. But I'm done with Sushi Tei now so I'm glad. I don't know why I said I missed it anymore. It was just so inconvenient and too much unnecessary pressure and not to mention I got screwed on my tips or I was getting paid less. I mean honestly. It wasn't worth it. I'm looking for another job on campus though for work-study. My work-study job last year upgraded me to SA (student assistant) so now I can get another work-study job. I'm hoping the job I had freshman year will take me back because all I did was sit there for 3 hours and do nothing so I can use the time to study and such. And I can only do nights anyway so it works out for me. If I don't get an email before classes I'll just go to them and annoy the hell out of them until I'm accepted. I want the job. I can use extra free money.
There's just so much.
Classes start next Monday, and I want to say I'm very excited. I want to try really hard and especially want to do my best to pass the JLPT 2 this December. So I think I'm really excited to actually try to fix myself from last year. Freshman year I did so good in my grades and I really need to try hard all over again I really fucked up last year... I was just worrying about things that shouldn't have been more important to me. I know why I did so good freshman year.... but because I can't get the same results I have to put more pressure on myself to care more about my grades.
I feel like it will also help me start learning Cantonese on my own too. I really need to find someone though to help me, I would prefer an actual international student from Hong Kong so I could become like his/her really good American friend or something but I have no idea how to find someone. So... I don't know.
There's so much I need to improve on.
It's come to my attention too that my ass is really fat. -sigh-
I have been lazy on the DDR lately so yesterday I decided to play DDR no matter what for at least one hour each day before going to sleep. And then I'll do squats afterwards to try to do something about my ass.... And then thanks to the new year started I can really start following that diet thing I planned for the longest time. I'll be making myself lunch the night before to take to classes, like a salad or something small and lightweight and such. It's always good to have 3 full meals a day, but you just have to eat in small portions. And it'll keep up my metabolism and free from hunger moments. So I need to go to Walmart and buy small tupperware that I can bring to classes with me. I would reallyyyy like a cute bento box but there are none around here and certainly nothing cute. So, maybe I'll ask my friend to buy me something in Flushing and bring it down. I want to eat my daily meals out of something supper cute ♥ And another goal of mine is to make lots of different meals, specifically Asian and other small, easy American dishes. For both lunch and dinner. Cooking is seriously my new hobby and I love it so much :)
Another thing I'm going to do is buy a cover for my computer. I'm going to be using a backpack this year and I'm going to start carrying my computer around since it's now much lighter and smaller than my last one. It'll be able to help me keep studying here at work on campus when I can't get to a library computer and I mean, if you don't play something fun or doing something fun for a bit then your brain begins to hurt so... I'll use it to beat random FB people on Tetris haha. I'm slowly figuring out what exactly is right. Took me too long to see clearly though.
And well, because of this new semester, I've made another blog. Nothing is posted on it, I just spent my entire 7 hours here working on campus to design it haha. I'll start using that one once Monday starts and that's where I'll be posting. It's going to be my third blog haha.... that's kinda pathetic in a way. I mean, I do have to admit, writing your life for the world to read on a blog is pretty stupid and obviously signals that you have no life. But, I try to think of it more as just motivation to make me do things. So look forward to my new blog based on my new college life with just random thoughts, how my life is moving ahead, and anything else really. Maybe you'll find something motivational for yourself as well :)
I have one more year to go in this college. Then I'll be abroad once more.
Lets go and aim forward
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